Hi everyone, welcome back to “Great Moments In Screen Captures” (or popfessor.com in general. Sorry I haven’t updated in awhile but it SNOWED last week. Snow provides great excuses for any and all people and occasions), the blog feature that shows you just how much fun you can have with the “Print Scrn” button (or Ctrl Apple T for all my Mac daddies).

In previously installments we’ve visited our favorite murderer Dexter Morgan and those faggy kids from “Glee”, but today we are here to honor the creme de la creme: LOST.

In case you’re not familiar, LOST is widely accepted as being the greatest television program ever. It just started its final season, and shits hitting the fan, or about to hit the fan, or promising to hit the fan. Everyone’s hoping that it’s not just gonna be shit, sitting there, doing nothing. It needs to hit something. AND IT BETTER BE THE RIGHT THING.

If you are not caught up, do not proceed (but feel free to hang out and click on google ads). Don’t ruin this epic tour de force for some cheap laugh. Anyways, let’s move on.

As the title implies, this was a “Kate episode.” They tend to… not “suck”, per se, but they are certainly the least of our brethren. This one was OK, though. Let’s see what happened.

The show starts out with this new character running around the temple, barefoot.

I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t be wearing shoes in this bitch. There’s gotta be a lot of stuff you can step on that could hurt you. Somebody at work pointed out that internet heads have taken this to be an allusion to Abbey Road’s “Paul is Dead” visual motif, meaning that, like Paul, the bare feet represent death. I just met this character so I don’t really care if he is or not.

Anyways, it seems he runs the course of the entire temple, so when he reaches his destination (a mystical Asian man), he’s pretty winded.

He came to inform the Asian dude of the recent resurrection of Sayid, who was quickly engulfed in fat after coming to.

Is red really the best color shirt for Hurley? Did he not get enough “Kool Aid” call outs in high school?

Meanwhile, in the “alternative” or “other” timeline, fugitive Kate Austen is on the run from the law. She just broke free from her captor, and makes a break for it in one of the taxis. Unfortunately for us, the driver looks like this.

His face doesn’t change much when a gun is pointed at his face, either.

Oh yeah, there’s a pregnant girl in the car too. They drive like 30 seconds before encountering this “obstacle”:

It turned out to be Doc Artz. You know, that guy who blew up? Nevermind.

Back on the island, Jack is amazed that Sayid’s wound has healed so quickly. Then we were treated to this gratuitous close-up:

Sweet.

When the Asian dude comes outside, Jack and Sayid try to cover up like a couple of teenagers who just had one of their parents walk in on them while making out:

Hurley’s torso basically took up half the screen.

Jack tries to have a stare down with the Asian guy for information. As usual, Jack tries to look intimidating but seems to communicate, “Why are you guys so mean?”

Kate ditches preggo and the cab driver and takes the taxi to a mechanic. She tries to get him to take her handcuffs off by holding a gun in his face, but he knows she can’t hold it and take her handcuffs off at the same time.

He conveys his abusement by striking a pose traditionally reserved for African American women who are “having none of that”:

I’m sold. He takes off her handcuffs, and it looks kind of cool.

One thing I don’t get: on a big show like this, shouldn’t the crew take their time to move shit that’s blocking their shot? Seriously.

While changing, Kate goes through the prego’s purse and realizes what a bitch she is for holding a pregnant woman hostage. This scene contained a photograph that I shouldn’t have found hot, but totally did:

Kate continues to rummage and finds more baby stuff:

Another thing I don’t get: why is she bringing all these baby supplies when she thinks she’s going to give the baby away? If the foster parents aren’t equipped with these things already, she might want to reconsider the whole thing.

On the island, the Asian guy and the others think Sayid is “contaminated” so they “test” him by torturing him. Asian dude attaches electrodes to Sayid, and we get a nice close up shot of what I’m assuming is Sayid’s hairy nipple area:

On the side note, the show is literally very dark. I’m not sure if it’s always like that or just on my computer, but I had to adjust the colors on some of these just so you could tell what was going on (which was really important in that last one).

So the others (what is the AP style on that? “The Others”?) electrocute Sayid, and people getting electrocuting always make the best faces. He even spits a little bit.

Then they poke him with a hot…uh… poker, and he literally cries. You see, he was a torturer before he got on the island, so this was all very ironic and such.

Alterna-Kate feels so bad about robbing the preggo, she tracks her down to like, apologize and stuff. But she comes across as really flirty to the point of hitting on the preggo. Case in point:

Well, I forgive her.

Is it just me, or is Kate’s hair in her face about half the time?

On the island, the guy from “Always Sunny in Philadelphia” plays an other. I guess he was there in season 3, but I don’t remember him (who does? Not even Kate). He’s annoying as shit the entire time he’s on screen and seems really out of place.

Jack comes to talk to the Asian dude and the guy with glasses about Sayid. While there, guy with glasses is seen reading a book in the position that people always use in movies, but never in real life.

Asian dude gives a pill to Jack that he should give to Sayid to make him all better. The pill basically looks like a capsule of St. John’s Wort you’d get at a GNC.

Kate feels so bad about robbing preggos she takes her to meet the foster parents. Some stuff happens here, but I can’t help but think WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT ON HER STOMACH.

DID YOU SEE IT? Ok, try now:

That can’t be good.

ISLAND Kate (I hope you watch the show so you’re not confused how there’s two Kates) tries to explain to Sawyer why she came back to the island: she has to find Claire because she has to be with Aaron and et al. As you can see, Sawyer is totally into it.

Sawyer tells her some sad stuff, and Kate cries. Evangeline Lilly is about as picture perfect as you can get, but this scene proves a classic theory proven time and time again: no chick can look hot while crying. It doesn’t help that she does a lot of shit with her nose.

K bye!!!!

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