Even more surprisingly, it’s not because it sucks.

According to this article on CNN, Avatards were so mesmerized by Cameron’s Lisa Frank-inspired visuals that they subsequently started feeling depression and suicidal thoughts. Why? Because the real world can never compare to the saccharine candyland that is… what was it called? Pandora? Right. Gay.

While I personally prefer living in a world that doesn’t involve Avatar whatsoever, some people sure don’t. Here’s what they had to say:

“That’s all I have been doing as of late, searching the Internet for more info about ‘Avatar.’ I guess that helps. It’s so hard I can’t force myself to think that it’s just a movie, and to get over it, that living like the Na’vi will never happen. I think I need a rebound movie,”

Why would searching the internet for MORE information about Avatar help?

“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it. I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ “

I don’t get it. Na’vi people were basically people, but taller, bluer, and uglier. I don’t think that would solve any of these peoples problems. You could go live in a rain forest or something like the Na’vi people, but you would probably get killed by frog on your first day. But then again, maybe you’d come back to life as an Avatar.

“When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed … gray. It was like my whole life, everything I’ve done and worked for, lost its meaning. It just seems so … meaningless. I still don’t really see any reason to keep … doing things at all. I live in a dying world.

I have a feeling this guy’s life didn’t have much meaning before seeing Avatar, either. But the world is dying, so the last thing you’d probably want to do is do things.

There’s more, just go to the full article. I just want to say this is retarded. Not because a movie affected people this way, but because this movie isn’t that good. I guarantee in 2 years max, we’re going to think back on ourselves as complete retards for liking this shit so much. When it comes on cable, I plan to skip over it. The 3D part is the only reason to really see it, otherwise it’s basically a movie about blue Native Americans. And personally, I do not think blue Native Americans are a “cool” idea for a science fiction movie at all. Cyborgs from the future? Cool. Indigenous cat people worshiping a tree? All the unobtanium in the world wouldn’t make that cool.

The funny thing is, this is exactly what the movie is about. In what I find to be the most interesting subtext of the movie, Cameron stated that Avatar is about how we live through Avatars most of our day. On AIM, Xbox Live, a facebook account, your World of Warcraft character, our physical selves sit motionless while our electronic selves are having all the action.

This is best represented in the misunderstood scene that shows Sigourney Weaver smoking. A lot of super gay antismoking groups attacked this, because people don’t smoke in real life, so it shouldn’t be represented in movies. People won’t smoke out about smoking this way.

As Seth Myers put it on SNL’s weekend update, “If you saw Avatar, and that’s the part you remember, you were probably born to smoke.”

Anyways, Ripley is smoking because she cares more about her Avatar body than her actual body, get it? It’s like us. Forget the retardedly simple and obvious political messages about terrorism and uh… feudalism (?), and just walk away from Avatar with that. Because these people didn’t.

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