Hello and welcome back to “Great Moments In Screen Captures” – the branded solution to my conflict of wanting to watch a program and needing to make a post. JK, it’s like, way more involved than that. GMISC (as it will hence forth be known) takes the best freeze frames from a movie or TV episode and converts them into snarky blog form. Because when it comes to images, we all know “motion” is somewhat overrated.

This week we drop into FOX’s “Glee“, the musical high school drama.

But this isn’t your father’s “High School Musical“! No, this has teen pregnancy, drug abuse, kids in wheelchairs, uh.. broken dreams, and teen pregnancy. In other words, it’s pretty good. It’s cheesy, but I’m pretty sure it knows it’s cheesy and embraces it wholeheartedly.

Bottom line: it’s about kids in Glee club, and this is what they did this week.

First I have to single out this moment from the recap, where this dude is like, totally whatevs. Whatever it is you’re dishing, he’s had enough. So you can just take your business, elsewhere buddy.

One of the first things that happened in the actual episode is that something gross was said. Something about a kid being sick because he had a spider in his ear. This lead to a great little collection of disgusted reaction shots:

This dude was all like “Whaaa?” :

While this chick was all like “Uh uh, I ain’t playin’ that game” :

While this dude had the best reaction shot cuz you can see these cheerleaders legs and skirts in the background:

So they’re being paired for a partner project, and everyone is finding out who their partner is. The gay kid gets the dreamy football player and he gets one of what’s to become many super gay boners:

Disturbing, I know.

When the students are not quite sure what to think of the assignment they have been given, the teacher and a student decide to show them how it’s done. It leads to a sequence where the dude looks like he’s about to bust/ just busted a nut while the girl takes a dump:

All joking aside, I really liked this shot of the desks in the classroom. I found the dimension it showed striking. I can guarantee no one else did, because they’re not as cultured as me:

Doesn’t it look like this chick is trying to wash the executive producer’s name off the screen? He probably promised her a bigger role before he banged her and later did not fulfill his promise. I mean, that’s just what dudes named “Dante” do:

So, this one student has a crush on the teacher (the two who were singing/ O’ing/ dumping earlier), and the teacher says it’s not the first time. When it didn’t work out, the student made a cry for help.

Have you ever thought about what a suicide attempt by hot pepper looked like? I have. And now, I finally know:

When you look at this next picture, what do you think of?

A mom catching his kid beating off, right? No, that’s not what it was. It was disappointing.

That was probably their joke, actually, but I’m just gonna say they read it here first and put it in the episode.

Next up, more super gay boners:

So, the teacher tries to get the girl to stop having a crush on her with the worst idea possible.

What does he do? He serenades her:

Great idea, dude. That will totally work.

I don’t have much to say about this next picture except: what is with that weird pattern on the walls in basements? Is it under construction? Is there some awesome thing on the other side that requires this side look like shit? I DON’T GET IT BUT I SEE IT EVERYWHERE. Luckily, the crossover appeal of my blog to both pop culture enthusiasts and dry wall practitioners will soon answer this question:

Another thing is, although you can’t tell because girls look ugly when they cry, that girl is pretty much the hottest girl ever made. Soak it in while it lasts, everyone, because this will not be the case in a maximum of 2 years.

The episode climaxes is a rousing rendition of “Lean On Me” to cheer up some people who were down, because hey, that’s what “Glee” is all about. The guy in the wheelchair and the big black girl clearly steal the show:

My favorite/ least favorite part of the show is how the teacher “jams out” on the sidelines while the students sing. It’s totally bad ass/ lame as shit:

K G2G CYA

Tags: Great Moments In Screen Captures, Music, Reviews, tv // 2 Comments »